on overpopulation (12.8.09)

You know your house is overpopulated when the odds of keeping a christmas present a secret from any family member are about 1:1000.

Yesterday, I sneakily bought dad the turntable from costco. I sneakily brought it home, and snuck it up to my room, where I intended for the girls to wrap it as soon as they got home from school. My sneaking had a breakdown about the same time my memory lapsed and I forgot the girls had basketball and wouldn't be home til well after dad. This might not have been a big problem, except that traditionally, dad comes to my room to check in when he gets home from work, and this was expedited by the fact that we had been missing a few key Christmas presents that had been previously purchased and Dad was eager to come and solve the mystery with me. Especially since mom wasn't home. Luckily, I had just changed my pants to go to work, and not only avoided dad catching me un-pantsed, but I had a pair of theoretically useful jeans in my hand when he came into my room. I realized the record player was in plain sight, so I tried to step in front of it and hold the jeans as awkwardly as possible in a psuedo folding attempt, hoping to cover the box. Dad, being the good Stecker he is, leaned around the jeans to see what the big new electronic looking box was on the floor behind me. As soon as it registered for him what is was, a look of shame crossed his face, and he tried to casually back out of the room, as if he was on his way already, even though we were only a few words into the conversation. Attempting to distract him and me from the blown surprise, I proceeded to communicate loudly and animatedly about the missing mario brothers video game that we had bought, and I was at a bit of a loss when dad was waving his hands and giving me looks. I wondered why he was so worried about me ruining his Christmas surprise, when really he did it himself, and then I realized one of the recipients of said video game was sitting right next to my door. Nattie gave me a sheepish grin, and I hoped that she somehow had no idea what Mario Brothers for the WII was. Right.

Dad scuttled off remorsefully to hunt down the now unsurprising video game, and came back several times to my room to go over plausible loss scenarios, always carefully standing a full five feet back from my door. As if he HAD seen me in my underwear and was permanently terrified of ever entering enemy territory again.

This of course, is almost as good as my slip a few weeks ago, when I loudly protested the difference in quality between the ****** (omitted for security purposes) that mom and dad had gotten at location A and the one they were considering for less money at location B. The recipient of said gift was sitting next to me.

Yes, too many people in this house. But I am sure it would help if my brain were functioning a little better.

So the question is, do I take the turntable back? I was considering sticking it under the tree unwrapped, with a big bow, since he's already seen it.